While we’re clearly not receiving the full force of the storm that hit the mid-Atlantic region earlier in the week, it’s been snowing steadily all day today. The parking lot in our complex looks so much prettier like this! 
While we’re clearly not receiving the full force of the storm that hit the mid-Atlantic region earlier in the week, it’s been snowing steadily all day today. The parking lot in our complex looks so much prettier like this! 
I think I’m heading out a little early today. This week has been crazy, and has involved things like a crazy disrupted bus schedule, avoiding huge layoffs for Alicia, and the car battery dying. It has also included Alicia’s birthday and lots of productive work time, but those were each overlaid by a substantial level of stress… Hoping for a happy and strong finish. Fingers crossed!
Or, the importance of setting goals.
In a true stroke of genius, one of my cohort-mates (are they just called cohorts?) suggested reforming our prelim-prep group (with a few additions and one out on maternity leave) in service of completing prospectuses/dissertations in proper timeframes. This was brilliant, and I will be forever in debt to her.
As you all know, I am not afraid of structure in my life. I’m generally quite happy to create it myself, and will occasionally go completely overboard, resulting in days that are scheduled hourly in order to get everything done. In spite of this, planning such a huge project as a dissertation can be really overwhelming. Though I had already made a lovely month-by-month schedule for myself, outlining an optimistic schedule to dissertation success, and a weekly breakdown of what projects/subsections I should work on each day, I was constantly consumed by the sheer volume of stuff I needed to complete. Enter the prospectus/dissertation support group. In addition to discussing what’s going on with our projects, getting feedback about various aspects of the process, and generally having a nice lunch time, we set goals to be met by the next meeting (generally in two weeks). It’s amazing how life can be so structured already and yet the critical level of structure is missing. I now have three scales of calendar posted on in my cube, and it makes me feel so calm and in control – something I’m trying to hold on to more as everything else speeds up.
The lesson here is nothing new: When you are overwhelmed by a big project, break it into small enough chunks that you have manageable goals, but not so small that you can’t see the big picture. I find that that the breakthrough moments in my life are rarely truly new. Rather, they are subtle (and sometimes less so) reiterations of things I’ve already learned and tried to apply in my life. I suppose, then, the only real lesson is to keep trying until it works…
PS. My IRB was approved! Now I just have to get my data contract approved and I’ll be on my way.

In addition to photographing the basil, I’ve been cooking with it and have been considering trying my hand at a few other container crops. (After my prospectus defense I realized that I’d forgotten to water things for a while and was left with a few more empty pots.) Here is a picture of the potato soup I made last night, made tastier by some pesto cubes from the freezer and fresh basil from the window.
As an aside, these photos are compressed to deal with my tragic internet situation... It should be fixed on Monday (fingers crossed).
I love knitting for babies. They are small making all of their garments both cute and relatively fast to knit. I like green and blue, which are appropriate colors for any baby, and I have found a variety of machine-washable yarns I really like. That said, my friends, you need to space your babies better. I don’t mean the time between your first and second child. I couldn’t care less how you space them. I mean the time between your baby and the baby of my other friends. This month alone I have 3 friends’ babies being born. This combined with a rather superstitious unwillingness to knit before about the 8th or 9th month of pregnancy, and the fact that Christmas was only a month ago, means that I currently have 3 baby projects I mind. The next one isn’t due until June. Couldn’t someone have gotten pregnant a month later?
First, a picture of the sleep-sack in progress for Ebony's baby (due in a few weeks). It still needs a hood, but it's already so cute...
Second, the first of two (thumbless) mittens for Ken's baby, born already but not quite ready for mittens.
Or, AT&T, you vile temptress…
The lack of recent blog posts, contrary to what you may have been thinking, is not, in fact, due to lack of available time on my part. I am busy, and the semester is off to a rapid start. What has keep me from posting is the cruel lack of internet at home right now. We used to share with our neighbor. This was not an illegal stealing of a network signal, but rather a cost-sharing move that everyone liked. When Jing moved rather abruptly, our internet access ended. We were fine for a few days, and decided to wait until after the holidays to deal with it – after all, it seemed unlikely that anything would be accomplished over Christmas. I called AT&T (after determining that their internet was a better deal than Comcast) the Monday after Christmas and was told that our internet would be activated and that we would have our equipment by December 31, 2009. It seemed a little unlikely that the mail would move that quickly, but we waited until January 4 to call and complain. When I called again they told me that my order had never been completed. Something is clearly not straightforward about our address (unclear as to why, but there it is), and it didn’t go through the first time. A nice representative started a new order and promised that this one would be completed (and to their credit the AT&T people have been very friendly, if not incredibly good at transferring me to the correct person on the first try – I talked to at least 4 other people before speaking with this woman) . We received the equipment on the promised date and I attached everything very carefully. I was so hopeful, and my spirit was crushed when I saw the blinking red lights. Anyone who has ever tried to deal with anything electronic can tell you that flashing red lights are bad, particularly when you have clear documentation stating that they should be solid green lights. I called again, and was told that there was a problem with my order and that a specialist would have to call me back. All I want is internet – is that so hard?!?!? A specialist called me back, and said that they were still trying to connect my service (still unclear why it is so complicated) and that someone would contact me when it was ready. He couldn’t give me an exact date (red flag!!!), but said he hoped it would be by the end of the week. That was last week. I think I’m going to need to call again today, but I hardly have the strength… Send happy internet-activating wishes my way (as your IRB wishes are working well so far – relatively few corrections and I think it’s on it’s way now), and hopefully the post frequency will be back up shortly…
and I was too tired/busy to play with it… The camera travelled in record time (ordered Sunday night, shipped Monday, arrived Wednesday afternoon) but I haven’t gotten any farther along than opening the box, giving a quick visual appraisal, and looking through the first few pages of the owner’s manual. It gives lots of helpful advice like “Batteries other than those listed for use with this device may cause an explosion” and “If the view screen breaks, be careful of broken glass.” I hope not to need most of this advice, but I suppose it’s helpful. I’m almost to the page that tells me how to turn on the camera and take a picture, so maybe I’ll get there tonight…
In other news, I have submitted the IRB approval for access to my dissertation data set. Please send happy thoughts to the committee so that they love it, and approve it rapidly. Also please send happy thoughts to me in Java, as I will be programming like crazy while I’m waiting on the data. Oh Java, how do I love thee… let me count the ways:
public int countTheWays() {
theWays = 0;
for (Program program: andreasProject){
if (screwUp = true) { theWays --; }
else
theWays ++;
}
return theWays;
}
Please just don’t tell me if you find a coding error in this, the most nerdy joke I have ever made…
For the curious among you, I decided to get a Pentax K-x. It’s a nice, light/small, entry-level camera, and as a special bonus also takes high definition video. I just got an automated phone call (so fancy) that my camera will be delivered tomorrow, which is even earlier than I anticipated. Such excitement!
I did it. I ordered my first digital SLR and I’m super excited. Now I can use a high(er)-end piece of equipment to photograph the dog sleeping and my knitting. :)
It should be here Thursday, so watch for newly creative and expertly captured photos to accompany my posts.
Yay!
The semester has officially started, and it’s kind of amazing. I’m not teaching this semester, and I only have one class. It was beautiful to make up my daily/weekly schedule (a one sheet guide for myself I’ve been making every term for the last 9 years) and see that really, the vast majority of my time is spent in my office doing my work.
This is not to suggest that I will be taking it easy. I’ve made a totally unintimidating (ha!) calendar of what I need to get done on each of my major projects between now and April in order to make sure I have direction and structure in my life even in the absence of coursework…
My class also seems promising, as it’s a seminar with John Holland, an inspiring professor affiliated with the Center for the Study of Complex Systems. He also mentioned that his daughters knit, so he doesn’t mind if I knit in class.
It begins…
Symptoms: Not wanting to work on anything that’s already been started, and wanting to start new things. This may apply across life domains, or may be limited to a single aspect. It is not generally considered a disorder if the results are productive, such as when the patient is excited to work on the IRB application for a dissertation data set, and is ready to jump back into programming after “a little while” of not doing it. It can cause problems, as well as generate a large volume of materials when all of the patient’s current knitting (and other craft) projects seem relatively uninteresting and so she starts a new sweater for the dog. He will undoubtedly appreciate it, but he probably could have waited until the mittens, scarf, and shawl were at least a little further along. Or the quilt that has been waiting in pieces for the patient since at least last Spring Break.
Cure: A schedule. A plan. Even a vague commitment to finish off a few things. Tomorrow…
I know it’s a few days late, but the internet has been a bit spotty around here since our neighbor, with whom we were legitimately and legally sharing the internet, moved precipitously. The blog just wasn’t a top priority whenever I could get to a coffee shop or some other source of sporadic internet access.
In any case, I’m wishing all of you a happy and reflective new year. I always enjoy the clean slate the new year brings, and am looking forward to planning out my semester (without teaching, and with only a single class) of work toward my dissertation. I’m also planning on continuing to knit a bunch, and have added a yearly tracker for my knitting to the side bar, since now I will actually have a full year to track!
All the best for 2010!
Walter loves it, and even though people look ridiculous in them, I think he pulls off the Snuggie with a quiet dignity. He is currently snuggled in it on the couch, loving the warmth it provides when combined with another blanket. (The slightly crazed eyes are just because I pulled the blanket off of him and took his picture...)
Dad, Jodi, Jake, and Cosmo, consider this your thank-you note from the dog!
Now that the holiday crafting, baking, and driving are finished, the real break begins. Apart from some AMSA work that needs to be finished this week, and some crafting goals that will let me start fresh for the new year, I have nothing on my calendar! The dog even recognized this and slept until 8:30 this morning. It was amazing.
I hope everyone had a happy holiday, and is gearing up for an exciting new year!
Now that classes are over and almost all of the grading is complete, I’ve turned myself almost entirely to the crafting of Christmas/Solstice gifts for friends and family. Though I have been diligently knitting many of my gifts since July or August, there remain a number to be sewn/knitted/crafted. I am pleased to report that there are only a few remaining items, and that I will be completely done before the holiday. I may even send out holiday cards before the New Year!
*I would like to note that I actually take labor practices very seriously. My crafting is only like a sweatshop in that I have set somewhat unrealistic expectations for the amount that I will get done in the amount of time that I have, and in that the lighting is not the best in my study. Otherwise, I am taking plenty of bathroom breaks and have relatively little fear of being fired.
I was puzzled. I mean, you aren’t supposed to have any food or drink on the bus, and I’m assuming that includes beer. Add to this the fact that it was not quite 2pm and it becomes even more bizarre. Add to this the fact that it was finals time, and perhaps all is explained, but I'm not sure. I’m glad I wasn’t on the bus to see the person drinking it (as I tend to become irrationally angry when I observe others blatantly breaking the bus rules). I'm also glad I wasn't on the bus when some weird girl was taking a picture of beer cans on the bus, as that would have also seemed strange but blog-worthy...
I don’t know how much longer I can take these wild fluctuations in temperature. While it’s nice that it gets warmer periodically, it makes for truly messy dog-walking, and an unattractive landscape. Everything is browner than it should be at this time of year. I think it freezing rained last night, so now there is a layer of crunchy slush on the ground. It is quite unsavory…
Here is a picture of Walt, attempting to navigate last week after a little melty snow/rain/wintery mix.
I enjoyed November. It was cool and even a little bit sunny, and I even went so far as to call it the fall I didn’t get in September and October, when it was downright hot. I even got excited about the snow earlier this week. I prefer winter over summer, and would rather wear layers of clothing than sunscreen. As a direct result, I’m sure, it is currently 12 degrees Fahrenheit outside. It is slightly sunny (which I appreciate a great deal), but it is windy, and it is cold. This leaves only one appropriate description: “the skin-burning cold.”
Every year I forget about the skin-burning cold as anything other than an entertaining story with which to terrify new students from warmer climates. Every year I forget that there really is no fabric on earth that can stop this kind of wind. Every year, I get cocky and do things like not putting the liner in my coat even though I have been informed that the high for the day is the same as the low for the previous night, which was approximately 18 degrees. And then, every year like clockwork, I’m shocked to feel the biting wind on my face, the bizarre feeling of the condensation on my eyebrows (blown up from my scarf) freezing, and the irrepressible urge to close my eyes to keep the delicate fluid inside them from freezing too.
But take heart, dear readers, as not all is lost. I have great plans for new knitted goods for just this sort of day, and within days, I’ll have enough free time to actually start/finish them. That should make the winter just bearable enough that over the spring, summer, and fall, I forget how awful it really is.
Since I've had a place to decorate, I’ve only been variably good about doing so. This was due in part to ambivalence, in part to being really really busy around this time of year, and in part to being overall less than thrilled with the Christmas-iness of the decorations. This year, I've hardly had second thoughts. After deciding that the tree is a lovely symbol for the coming solstice, and the decorations decidedly wintery, secular, and crafted by generations of family crafters, I put them all up.
By the door, there is the jingly Rudolph with a surprising sprig of holly coming out of his forehead. To the best of my recollection, this was crafted by my paternal grandmother, and I like the bells just inside the door.
Things I have learned this week:
1. Do not send e-mails under acute stress. Something will be wrong with them.
2. Do not compile important pdfs under acute stress. Something will be wrong with them.
3. Even if every little thing that could possibly go wrong does, it is still possible to pass and feel like a good person.
Yay!
My prospectus defense is tomorrow, and I realized, incredibly fortuitously as I was answering another e-mail a moment ago, that I had not, in fact, sent my entire committee the lovely revised draft (with my name on it, and the pages numbered, all of those little things) of my prospectus. I am now mortified, but at least it’s out now and they have more than 24 hours to look at it. Thankfully not much has changed since the draft went out a few weeks ago.
My heart rate is starting to slow…
but the phone did a decent job! Here we are at the Thanksgiving Day Parade, 2009, all bundled up. You may notice that only one significant other made it out, and this was his first year in attendance. Alicia was home sick (with Nurse Walter), but I don’t know that she would have been up for it even with out the dreaded cold virus she’s been harboring.
at posting all through this semester, but it’s getting to the exciting time now. It’s getting to where I can actually see the end of the semester, and it’s a beautiful thing. Thanksgiving seems late this year, and the semester seems to end early, which is a recipe for both disaster and wonderfulness all at once. I think I’ve overcome the disaster (and feel relatively good about defending my prospectus Dec 4), and am looking forward to the wonderfulness…
Wish me happy sleeping…
The Whitmore Lake Yarn Company is a really lovely little shop. They are incredibly friendly, and even have a little girl who likes to greet patrons at the door. I’m under the impression that she’s not employed there, but is a regular shopper/shopper’s companion. Yesterday she was picking out blue yarn for a hat. At any rate, everyone was chatty and it seemed bustling for a Tuesday late-morning-early-afternoon. (Though it is a small shop, so it doesn’t take many people to make it feel full…) I happily found some yarn for a project that I cannot reveal here, due to the potential readership and kin of readership of this blog, but trust me that I’d been hoping to find it for a long time!
Thankfully, the shop carries more of the basic fibers and colorways I love. They had a great selection of Plymouth Galway, Brown Sheep Worsted (and Bulky, I think), Cascade 220 and 220 Superwash, as well as some other yarns I hadn’t seen before, most in lovely solids and heathers. They also stock a great array of baby and child appropriate yarns, with nice acrylic/wool blends that will wash and dry without much distress.
I think this will be a nice foil to Knit A Round, which as many of you know, does not carry the same variety of solid and heathered yarns. I’m pleased to report that this year seems to show an upswing in yarns that I like, but it is notable that almost everything I like ends up in the sale bin, suggesting that their primary clientele love other things. (Ultimately, this works well for me when I’m in a pinch, but results in me buying yarn elsewhere for lots of projects.) I’m excited to have another local option for yarn, and look forward to returning to Whitmore Lake when my yarn budget is once again replenished.
I read a post on the Career Center’s blog about PhD candidates looking for non-academic jobs (for general interest – that’s neither a plan of mine nor something I’ll be dealing with for quite a few years), and they had an interesting post about conquering “job search apathy.” As I read it, it occurred to me that these three steps cover the best way to get going with just about anything:
1. Just start, just do something
2. Break it down into manageable pieces
3. Do something every day
This makes so much sense, and is something I’ve been doing (on and off) for a long time, but is something I think deserves constant reminding. My most recent need of a reminder was this:
A full draft of my prospectus!!! It’s been a crazy semester, with all of the teaching and travel, but I finally have at least a draft of what I’m proposing to do, which sounds like it should be written entirely in some sort of distant subjunctive tense, though I know that it will be “time to just start” on actually doing the work soon enough. And for those of you wondering, I did, in fact, take a photo (with my phone) of the finished draft printed and sitting in my advisor's mailbox...It looks like the AMA is catching up to AMSA on a few things… GLMA said it well, so I’m just going to paste it here:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: November 10, 2009
CONTACT: James Beaudreau | jbeaudreau@glma.org
AMA Says Gay Marriage Bans
Contribute to Health Disparities
Gay and Lesbian Medical Association Praises AMA Policy Declaring
Same-Sex Marriage Bans to be Harmful to the Health of LGBT Families
The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) today praised the American Medical Association’s (AMA’s) adoption of policy declaring that gay marriage bans contribute to health disparities for gay couples and their children.
“We hope the newly adopted policy will inform future debates about expanding the right to marriage to gay and lesbian couples,” said GLMA Education and Policy Director James Beaudreau. “The science on this issue is clear: the health and well-being of gay couples and their families is directly affected by the right to marry, and denial of that right has many serious health related consequences.”
As part of the newly adopted policy, the AMA “supports measures providing same-sex households with the same rights and privileges to health care, health insurance, and survivor benefits, as afforded opposite-sex households.”
A 2008 report published by GLMA, Same Sex Marriage and Health, documented evidence about the affects of same-sex marriage bans on the LGBT community. The report noted that:
“As members of the medical community, we must bring our knowledge and understanding to the conversation about marriage equality and its positive effects upon health and wellness,” said GLMA President Rebecca Allison, MD. “We know that denying lesbians and gay men the opportunity to marry denies them multiple benefits of marriage that support relationships and promote health. As an act of discrimination, it compounds stigma against LGBT people in our society that has been linked to psychological distress, such as anxiety and depression.”
The AMA also adopted policies requesting a repeal of the U.S. military’s 'don't ask, don't-tell' law. The AMA said ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ creates an ethical dilemma for LGBT service members and the healthcare providers who treat them by putting service members in the position of having to choose between forgoing appropriate medical care by lying to their physicians or risking discharge, as well as healthcare providers in the position of having to choose between documenting the care they are providing incompletely or inaccurately or risking the service member's discharge.
– 30 –
GLMA's 2008 report, Same Sex Marriage and Health, is available at www.glma.org/MarriageEquality.
GLMA is the world's largest association of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) healthcare professionals. Since 1981, GLMA has been working to ensure equality in healthcare for LGBT individuals and healthcare professionals through advocacy, education, research and referrals. Please visit our website at www.glma.org.
So I’ve discovered that when I actually do everything I’m supposed to do (instead of putting some of it off until who knows when), I’m sort of tired by Monday afternoon and exhausted by Tuesday night. And still 2.5 more days to go before this proposal is due. It’s mostly done, and I did the references this evening, which are by far my least favorite part, but I’m still tired and am wishing that I would magically have lots of money to support myself and my research rather than having to apply for it like this.
Keep your fingers crossed.